This is long but hope its worth the read as its my addiction story shortened. This is a special year being 10 years so i had to write a little more than normal. My heart is where with you!
I went through 19 years of addictions until God stepped in or should i say until I allowed him to step in. The first 5 years of our marriage was heck for my wife because of those addictions. God not only healed me from 19 years of addictions but he healed the marriage I almost destroyed.
I already destroyed my first marriage because of the addictions and I almost did it with the 2nd. I truly believe that if God didn’t send me the Angel in Sandy, who knows where I would be today.
Those first 5 years of marriage Sandy wen through a ton. She put up with a lot of crap because I was very insensitive. I was very emotional because of the addictions. i would snap at her all the time and did things that I am not proud of at all back then. Some of the things i did in those early years, we will tell from stage one day because it was horrible.
Some people say she allowed me to walk over her but thats not true, she allowed me to feel God’s love through her and there is a whole lot of difference. She was my angel because we would not be there if she wasn’t. God knew why he brought us together. He knew she was exactly what I needed to help heal my heart. He used Sandy to heal me through it all to soften me up so he could get in!
2 lines I never crossed though and thats cheating and physical abuse. She would have left under those two things more than likely.
If she would have listened to most women, they would have stolen our marriage and also our Lil Boy since he was not born until a few years after God healed me.
They would have stolen the Joy that Sandy and I have today and that is off the charts! They would not have realized that God was working on my heart in the middle of those years. Even Sandy didn’t know. All she knew is she loved me and she felt like God was telling her to stay put and ride this out because the rewards would be there. They would have also stolen the Joy that Sandy would have had knowing she was able to see a transformation from a Godly point of view. God allowed her to experience that with me.
I remember Dec 26, 2007 as clear as it was yesterday. I woke up with a hangover for the first time I realized I d\got drunk on a Christmas. That was horrible. Earlier that year I even was drink on Sandy’s 30th birthday, the day that should have been very special since it was a milestone!
I remember waking that morning feeling a little convicted. I was like wow really, Drunk on a Christmas! I knew I needed a Christmas miracle. I needed God to give that to me. It was time.
I pleaded with God, PLEASE take this desire away from me. I told him either take my life or take the desire away because I can’t do life like this anymore. I cant treat my amazing wife like this anymore. You see in those first 5 years of marriage, she never nagged me through it and she never put me down. She just prayed to God to heal my heart and she loved on me so much through it all.
I was ready to end it all when I felt like God told me to give him 30 days. I thought that was crazy sounding but I decided to believe that was God talking to me. I also felt like he told me one day we will have a marriage ministry and i thought not hes crazy because our marriage was in the ditch.
That was the day he called us into ministry, we just didn’t realize it at the time.
The first 30 days was a little tough but I kept thinking God told me to give him 30 days and somewhere around the 30 day mark, I have had ZERO desire ever since. I know most people say they have to struggle each day but I don’t. God totally healed me from my 19 years of addictions and then healed our marriage.
Through it all I would not change anything because it made the man of God and husband I am today and of course dad I am too. I am grateful for those 19 years of addictions because without them, we would not be as strong as we are today in marriage.
In 2010, we we found our church and started doing a ton of marriage and communication study. In fact we figure we probably have done close to 10,000 hours of marriage study from books, audios, sermons, classes, conferences etc.. We listen to 5-10 sermons a week together now and have done that for a long time. Yes we go to our local church too but through the week we try to do something more too.
We have poured so much into our minds and spirit together that we have no choice for good things to come out. We plan on doing this for the rest of our marriage and lives because without God and each other, we would not be where we are today.
I am grateful to my amazing Sandy who never gave up on me when 99% of the women would have. I am grateful to God for sending sandy to me so that I can heal and for him healing my from those nasty addictions.
My point of all this is to tell you that God is a great God and he can heal you no matter what you are going through. He wants to to fully surrender to him. That is where magic happens. That is where transformation happens, the day you fully surrender. I did that on this day 10 years ago and our marriage is proof that transformation can happen to anyone!
Living an Inspired Marriage,
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I am co-founder of Inspired Marriage. I went through 19 years of addictions until God healed me Dec 26th, 2007. The first 5 years of our marriage was hell because of my addictions. With Sandy's patience, I was able to allow God to work in me and we have been growing spiritually together ever since! Oct 5th, 2017 will be 15 years of marriage and it's been an inspired one!