As I look back, I am thankful that Sandy chose to be strong those first 5 years of our marriage for the both of us. I am thankful that she chose to be patient with me in those rough times because she chose to believe my heart was still soft even with the masking of the addictions.Yes she went through a lot and God knew she would. God knew it was gonna take someone as special as her to heal my heart. I honestly don’t know if another woman could have other than her. Shes been the most pure hearted woman I have ever met. There isn’t an ooze of meanness within her blood. I am blown away the kind of patience that God placed in her in our early years of marriage.
I am thankful she chose not to talk to people about what was going on within our marriage in those early years. 98% of the people would have told her she deserved better (and they would have been right) and they would have tried to split up apart.
They would have stolen the work that God was doing in me through Sandy. They would have stolen the kind of marriage that Sandy and I have today. They would have stolen Lil Chris from both of us because he wasn’t born until a few years after I got sober.
They would have stolen everything from Sandy and I and they would not have cared. All they would have seen is the me that the addictions had and the the me that Sandy knew was within me. They would have seen the horribleness I treated Sandy and if they knew I screwed up my first marriage, they would have tried to convince her that people like me don’t change.
I want you to know that I never crossed the line of cheating physically or any physical abuse whatsoever. I truly believe if I would have crossed either of those lines, Sandy would have packed and left.
I am also not saying that she didn’t almost leave a few times because she was ready to call it quits but God helped give her to courage to talk with me about a few things that changed her mind on leaving.
As I look back, I am in awe at what we have accomplished within our marriage! I think we are as close as we are today because we have seen a marriage that was darkened by addictions and the light was almost gone. God proved that as long as hes the light, no darkness could have overcome us because you can’t stomp out light with dark but you can stomp out dark with light!
Sandy showed me so much light that I had no choice to change. God was working on my heart even when she didn’t realize it. She has always been my cheerleader. Shes always been there for me and shes never put me down in our 15 years of marriage. Yo me shes as close to Christ’Like as you can get in this world!
I have been talking a lot about what she means to me lately because next month i am coming up on 10 years sober and thats a special year that I could have never imagined being since i went through 19 years of addictions.
She is my light, God used her to change my life and she tells me God did the same too through me for her because she got to experience a transformation that few people ever get to see. many people only get to see the dark side of addictions until its too late but she got to experience Gods power through her that affected me for the rest of my life and for that, I will always be forever grateful to God and her!
Living an Inspired Marriage!
Chris Benton
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I am co-founder of Inspired Marriage. I went through 19 years of addictions until God healed me Dec 26th, 2007. The first 5 years of our marriage was hell because of my addictions. With Sandy's patience, I was able to allow God to work in me and we have been growing spiritually together ever since! Oct 5th, 2023 was 21 years of marriage and it's been an inspired one!
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