Addictions attack most families. No one is prone to addictions. It really doesn’t matter what the addiction, it can and will destroy your family eventually. You have to get these under control if you have any hope of your family lasting for the long haul.
Addictions come in all forms and sizes. Most people think of addictions as alcohol and drugs but there are many silent addictions. For instance there is money, adrenalin, selfishness, exercising, food, perfection and many others. Addictions are bad no matter what form they come in, and if you aren’t careful, you take care of one addiction then it takes shape in another area. Like some people give up the food addiction and lose weight then they work out 8 hours a day. Well all they did was transfer the addiction from one extreme to another.
Back at the beginning of our marriage, I went through years of drinking and drugs before our marriage and at that point I was not drinking much. My mom passed away 6 months after we married so then I turned to using credit for us to just travel all over the East Coast. Guess what eventually happened? Credit ran out!
That was an addiction that almost destroyed us financially but because I didn’t handle why I had the addiction, it led right back into drinking and popping pills for several years. The first 5 years of our marriage was tough for Sandy. I am so grateful she stuck it out with me. She didn’t have to do that. She told me that I was awesome when I wasn’t drinking but when I was it was rough. She said she believed in me and we still had pretty good communication so that is why she stayed. She knew God would heal my heart from these addictions.
Then on December 26th, 2007 I finally gave my addictions to Christ. I had enough. I saw that I was going to destroy everything if I didn’t change. But here is what I didn’t realize that all these addictions were covering up, ANGER! Because after I quit drinking that is when my attitude for a while got worse than ever.
I was trying to figure out why I couldn’t control my anger. Since then I have come closer to God and have done much soul searching and found the root cause of my anger. I won’t go into that here but something happened back when I was a teen and I have been angry all these years and without even knowing it.
19 years of covering up that anger takes a toll. Don’t do that to yourself! If you are angry find out what the root cause is. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize the root cause and how you have wasted much of your life because of it.
Addictions will eat your family alive. Addictions are always the root of something. It is your job to figure out what the root is whether that means you see someone or what.
The main reason I am writing about my addictions is that I know this will help someone out there. The road of addictions is not an easy one so don’t go down that road. I talk about them a lot and Sandy and i know thats a part of our ministry.
Here is another thing that people don’t realize, addictions always start small. You never go from where you are to BAM full blown addiction overnight. It doesn’t happen that way. You do things so much that then you have to do them more in order to get the same feeling. You have to raise the level to some degree.
More families are destroyed from addictions than any other thing. Men and women cheat usually because of some kind of addiction. They didn’t go from a great marriage to all of a sudden cheating. There is always a downfall before the addiction.
Some people start getting attention at work that they aren’t getting at home and become addicted to that attention. If someone at work flirts with you and it raises your emotions big time then you better do something about that because the day will come when you cross the line. It may not be with that person but that person opened your emotions just enough for them to be on someone else other than your wife or husband.
Keeping these emotions in check is so important. If these kinds of emotions happen at work it may be time to change jobs. You don’t want to play with fire because you and your family will get burned.
So to wrap things up, remember when it come to addictions, they always start small and they will always destroy your family over time. Get all of your addictions in check before you lose everything including your family.
Granted I didn’t hit money addictions even though I could write a whole article on that issue but I think I covered Love of Money pretty well in Part 2. There are so many things I could have hit here and who knows maybe later down the road I will write more on this subject.
This isn’t an easy path but it is a worthwhile path. I am a living example that you can have a dark past and still succeed. I am now going on 10 years sober and our lives have changed since I made that decision. Our marriage is better than I could have ever imagined and all I had to do was give my addictions to Christ.
Ask God to heal your heart of your addictions. Ask him to show you where your silent addictions are. Ask him to heal your family because your family has suffered with your addictions. Ask him to give you the courage to stay away from your addictions for the rest of your life. Hand all your addictions over to Christ and he will heal your heart. Don’t do this halfway or you will lose but give it ALL to Christ and don’t hold anything back.
Living an Inspired Marriage,
Chris Benton
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