When I came up with this title I had the idea of building onto a post I wrote last year called The Seduction of Ministry. It was gonna be all about how a passion you may have in your life may be a seduction so bad that it pulls you away from God’s calling on your life because that’s kind of what happened to us in 2019 but I will have to save that story for another post.
I felt the huge tug of The Holy Spirit nudging me to take this a different route so here goes.
So many married couples will tell you the passion within their marriage is gone and its like they are just living as roommates right now. This is one of the most dangerous places you can be within your marriage. It opens the door for the husband or wife to take a wrong turn. This spirit drops your guard so much because you are just existing in marriage not thriving right now. We all go through a dry spell from time to time.
Here is what happens, people start to see how happy other couples are especially on social media and start comparing their marriage to others. They are comparing their marriage to someone else highlight reel. Remember in most cases, people only share the good of their lives on facebook. Yes some people do share way too much drama too but for the most part you are only seeing the highlight of their marriage, that the day to day discussions they may be having that could even be heated.
Your heart is already yearning for that kind of marriage so someone walks in your work or someone at a restaurant starts noticing you. They start admiring you. They start complimenting you on everything. They are feeding into your lonely ego that you have not felt in years.
They may even know you are married so you think its no big deal because they know so you think they don’t have other motives when in reality they want you whether married or not.
I have heard people say you can’t stop passion when two people have it and this new person is bringing all these crazy & wild feelings back into your heart. Yes you have not crossed the physical line yet but you have went way over the emotional line.
The seduction of this passion eventually starts to overtake you and you will catch yourself comparing your husband or wife to this new person. Remember when your marriage was new? Thats how you are feeling again with this new person so your heart is telling you that yiu should leave your spouse because this new person gets your blood pumping so much. You may still not have crossed the physical line just yet but you have already checked out of your marriage.
It’s only a matter of time when the divorce comes if you don’t stop it now before you cross too many times. But this passion brings you back to life and you feel in your heart that you are so alive but the enemy has to deceived because not only will you have the same struggles later on but this passion won’t last.
If you step across that line and bring the baggage of cheating into a new relationships, it is doomed from the beginning. Yes there are a few exceptions where people made it work after that but VERY few. In most cases when a relationship starts from cheating, it will end from cheating too.
If you step across that line and bring the baggage of cheating into a new relationships, it is doomed from the beginning. Yes there are a few exceptions where people made it work after that but VERY few. In most cases when a relationship starts from cheating, it will end from cheating too.
Bring God back into the picture. Both my wife and I truly believe that God brought us together. If we believe that, how can we not do everything possible to thrive in our marriage?
Figure out what the two of you did while dating and repeating that. Start the a new love affair with your spouse. Spice things up in the bedroom. Do whatever it takes to bring the two of you back together.
Find ways to talk again. Don’t just talk about the daily chores of life but talk about your dreams, goals, desires & even your fears. This will help rekindle what you once had.
My wife and I love to talk all the time. Its what brings passion to us. We love to attend marriage conferences. We love to listen to marriage sermons & audios together. It drives us! We can tell when we have not done that in a while too.
We also love to take a day trip once or twice a month 2 hours away. Its our way to get away and forget about whats going on. We live in the Savannah area so we will sometimes shoot over to Charleston & sometimes Jacksonville and just enjoy that day. We leave around 9 am and dont come back until around 9 or 10 that night so yes we get in LATE but its amazing what that one day does for us.
You have to find what does the two of you good. No matter what, I would always recommend listening to marriage sermons & audios / podcasts together. You don’t have to do that as much as Sandy & I do it but imagine what could happen if you did that even twice a week? It could be a game changer for you!
No matter what if your marriage lost its passion, you can still find a way back. First don’t believe the Guru’s that tell you passion is supposed to fade over the years and then you move into a new phase. thats a LIE to get your marriage into a rut from the enemy so that the day comes you find passion somewhere else.
I am not saying this will be an easy feat but if you and your spouse are willing to work at it, you can have a whole new marriage in a fairly short time.
Do the work & watch your marriage blossom into something you have dreamed of!
I will probably be writing next The Seductions of a passion. It will be a little different but can be just as devastating to a marriage.
Living a God-Inspired Marriage,
Chris Benton
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